That Guy Trick-or-Treated Me!

Rocco's first trick or treating experience involved a drive-by treating.

You might be asking yourself, "What is a drive by treating?"

There was a man randomly standing on the edge of his yard holding a bag of candy. My mom and I laughed... drove around the block, pulled up, rolled down Rocco's window, and I said, "Are you handing out candy to kids?" To be honest, we didn't really know what he was doing...

The man said, "Yeah..." (I think maybe he had eaten some hash brownies for Halloween...)

Rocco stared at him.

Then, something amazing happened. The guy handed Rocco a handful of candy.

A smile instantly lit up Rocco's face. "Thank you!" he said. Then turned to us and proclaimed:

"THAT GUY JUST TRICK OR TREATED ME!"

After that, Rocco was hooked. We took him to approximately ten houses-- mostly Todd walked him and I stayed in the car. We all had a blast. Rocco loved the fact that he could knock on someone's door and randomly get candy. It was exciting to watch him have so much fun. And we were very proud that he told everyone "thank you" after they gave him candy. He held hands, he was careful, and he was well-behaved. Such a sweet boy! I think he is going to want to trick or treat every day from now on. 

Happy Halloween, Everyone!

The second house we trick or treated at-- our cousin, Derrick and Karson.

The whole family (Ruby "Lil Pumpkin" included!)

Fireman Rocco and Coach Shaffer

Over-Achiever

"You've always been an over-achiever. I guess your body just gets ready to have babies before it's time," my mom said to me around seven this morning as Todd and I sleepily munched on our McDonald's breakfast.

Apparently, my body just wants to have babies when I'm 31 weeks and 3 days.

I looked back at the pregnancy journal I kept with Rocco and, sure enough, at 31 weeks and 3 days, I went into the hospital with steady contractions (every 3 to 4 minutes) and started meds to stop them. I went in early this morning-- around three am-- at 31 weeks and 3 days with steady (and painful) contractions. (I highly suggest keeping a pregnancy journal to first time mothers-- and, to be honest, I have kept one with Ruby, too, in case I decide to have a third child. It's nice to be able to look back and see what is "normal" during pregnancy, because as much as you think you will remember at the time, you won't remember anything later on.)

To make a long story short-- the nurse, who was very kind-- monitored Ruby's heartbeat (perfect, steady, strong) and my contractions (consistent, strong enough to be worrisome), decided that I needed a test to see the likelihood of delivering within the next two weeks (negative), did a vaginal check (cervix completely closed), administered two shots to stop contractions (made me feel jittery), and started me on the same meds I took when the situation happened with Rocco. Everything ended up just fine with the exception of a couple of really sleepy parents-- and a sleepy grandma who came over around three and didn't sleep at all.

The whole time driving over, Todd and I kept talking about how lucky we felt that we didn't have to worry about insurance at all-- and how thankful we are that we have good jobs that offer this amazing benefit. I particularly felt thankful to know that if I did have real issues that my building principal would be supportive. I know that everyone I work with would be more concerned about my health and the baby's health than work issues. I am very lucky to not have that hanging over my head. I am thankful and lucky to have family around to support us and step in to take care of Rocco-- and any other business I might need taken care of-- as well as lots of extended family and friends who are not only ready but willing to help in any way. I was also very appreciative that I have a good husband to stand by me. I have a huge amount of empathy for single mothers. While there, we saw the life flight helicopter come in and, again, I felt thankful that although uncomfortable at the moment, my health is very good. In the end, I was very thankful for modern technology to help in a situation like this and that ultimately Ruby would be just fine.

Another positive: Ruby made us laugh. She might be a little fiery like her mother! She was in a true tizzy last night-- moving all over the place, kicking, punching, and rolling. Every time the nurse would find Ruby's heartbeat, Ruby would move so the heartbeat was undetectable. Every time the nurse adjusted the monitor and pressed on my belly, Ruby would give her a big kick or punch. She is a fighter! Here, the whole time I thought I would have a sweet, little, quiet baby girl. But I think she might be more like her mama than we thought.

And although she might think she's ready to make her appearance, my little over-achiever is just going to have to wait it out a little longer.

Saturday Mornings

A sweet, almost whispery voice says, "I wanna box you down, Daddy."

Rocco is standing in the middle of the living room in his Lightning McQueen pajamas with my pink Everlast boxing gloves on. His hair is spiked on one side and there are graham cracker crumbs adorning his mouth, chin, and cheeks.

Todd happily obliges. (Who could resist?)

As Rocco "boxes Daddy down" he giggles and squeals with delight. He is truly happy. I love that such a simple thing in life can elicit such joy.

But what brings me more joy than the giggles and squeals is that every once in while, Rocco will stop (when he thinks Todd has seriously gotten injured by his mighty blows) and says, "I sorry, Daddy. It's okay. Nothing happened." He then either gives him a hug or pats his head.

In a split second, Rocco is now a barber giving his daddy a facial scrub. "Wash you face, Daddy," he says as he scrubs Todd's face with a dish towel. He then applies "soap" with the nearby throw pillows.

As I type, he is sitting at his Lincoln Log set carefully constructing a wooden home. He is quiet and methodical until he booms, "Mommy, look what I made!" Then he grins wildly when I say, "Wow! Look at the house you made. That's awesome!"

I wouldn't trade my Saturday mornings for anything.

What are your Saturday mornings like?

Second Baby Insecurities

Disclaimer: For those of you who are mothers, I hope you see the humor in this post. For those of you who are not mothers and are women, please do not read this post unless you think you might never want children of your own. Men-- just skip this post.

"I would do this all over again for you... but not for a little brother or sister," I said to Rocco minutes after he was born.

Well... I guess I'm a liar.

There are lots of aspects of being pregnant for the second time that make me feel more confident and prepared. I was fully expecting the typical pregnancy symptoms. I am prepared this time for the excruciating duty of childbirth. I am prepared for a long labor and painful delivery. I won't be scared away from Pitocin. I know the difference between "I think I'm in labor?" and "Oh, shit... I'm in labor!" I have experienced my mucous plug falling out. I know the difference between lots of pee and water breaking. I'm prepared for an episiotomy and the stitches. I know what to expect with breast feeding. I know that I can sleep while the baby is sleeping-- that if I don't keep an eye on the baby every second of their newborn existence, they will be alright. They make sensor machines for that. I am prepared for the sleepless nights and the magnitude of change that comes with having a newborn in the house.

What I was not prepared for was the sadness and guilt associated with welcoming a second child into the family. Don't get me wrong-- I am already in love with Ruby. I am over-the-moon happy that I will have another child in the very near future. Please don't misunderstand my feelings.

I am feeling sad for Rocco. Todd and I have absolutely revolved our lives around Rocco since the day we found out he was conceived. He is the absolute center of our universe. I am sad that he will be forced-- no choice of his own-- to divide his time with Todd and I once Ruby comes into the picture. His needs will be met after Ruby's because he is older and more capable of waiting. This just doesn't seem fair, though. I mean, we're asking a lot of him and didn't give him any choice in the matter. I can totally see where older siblings might resent their younger siblings! I feel guilty for being selfish. In a sense, I'm selfish for wanting another child. Rocco brought me so much joy that I wanted the experience that joy multiplied. My rationale for a long time was that I loved Rocco so much that I wanted to give him a sibling. I do stand by this rationale-- I think that, in the end, Rocco will be happy to have a sibling. But, man, I have to assume that there undoubtedly will be times when he resents us a bit for bringing a little sibling into the mix-- let alone, a little sister.

To make light of the situation, Todd (a second child) says, "I feel worse for Ruby. She will never experience what it's like to be an only child... ever..." which makes me laugh because he somehow magically morphs into the little boy I see in the family videos and in the photographs. Pout and all. (Stephanie, if you are reading this, he is joking! And, believe me, I'm sure you got him back throughout childhood-- does this ring a bell? "Here, Todd, hold this pillow over your face and let me punch it..." or what about the sniper hole in front of the shed out back you dug.) He also makes sure to point out how much I have started spoiling Rocco once these feelings of sadness and guilt started coming on strong. I mean, what toddler gets baked goods on an almost daily basis? I know I always feel better with a cupcake in front of me.

I know that most of these feelings are the result of crazy hormones surging through my body. And, in my defense, if I didn't love Rocco as much as I do, I wouldn't even be considering his feelings about this matter. I know that this is a normal feeling-- many women have graciously shared their truthful words about their experiences with these same emotions and what happened once the second child was born. For that, I am thankful. I also know that if I wasn't somewhat nervous or scared about this life-changing moment, I would not be taking it as serious as I should.

Most importantly, I know that everything will be just fine. It always is. Actually, it will be better than fine because our family will grow and our hearts will be more capable of love than we ever thought possible-- Rocco's included. (And if he is slow to come around, I'm not too proud to bake.)

We Like the Letter "R"

Rocco & Ruby

Kind of sounds like our kids should have a series of books named after them... or a television show... or a clothing line.

Believe it or not, we never had the intention of sticking with the "R" theme. It just sort of happened that way.

While scouring the baby name books with Rocco peacefully growing inside me, I initially wanted something very traditional: Robert, Michael, George, Henry, Thomas, Cameron. Nothing seemed to just... click. None of those names were... THE ONE. (For those of you who have never named another person, it's sort of a really big deal. It's a lot of pressure to pick the perfect name!) Plus, whatever we chose had to go with the middle name of Todd. It is a family tradition on Todd's Shaffer-side that the first-born son receives his father's name as his middle name. It was important to Todd, and therefore myself, to continue the tradition.

Then, I came across the name Rocco. And loved it immediately. For Todd, it had to grow on him awhile. But, he eventually decided that he loved it, too. It was a way to represent a side of my family, as well, with the apparent nod to Italian heritage. Plus, we loved that it was such a strong name-- and prayed for a tough little guy and not a wimpy boy to live up to such a masculine name. The more research we did, we found the Rocco is also a saint. This particular saint is the saint of the sick, known to cure diseases. We were met with some very positive responses when unveiling our choice of name... and some not very positive responses. Regardless of whether we were met with a "That's a great name!" or "What kind of a name is that?" (wrinkled nose, disgusted face) we knew that Rocco would be a name not easily forgotten by the fans or the critics.

So what about Ruby? Where did that come from?

My great-grandmother's name was Ruby. I don't remember her very much, nor did I have a lot of time to spend with her. She died when I was very young-- maybe 4 or 5? But from what everyone tells me, she was gracious, sweet, the most amazing baker, giving, and a great mother/grandmother. What I remember was her immaculate roses in her garden, her ornately decorated home, and stunning jewelry collection. I have seen very few photos of her-- a lot of photos were burned in a fire-- but what sticks out about the photos is that although Ruby might not have been the most conventionally beautiful woman, she was beautiful in her own way. She was part Native American, which gave her a somewhat exotic look. She had dark hair that she wore in braids which were pinned to the top of her head. And, maybe this is exaggerating, but it seemed as if her lips were naturally, well, ruby-hued.

I have always been in love with the name Ruby. I wasn't the kind of girl who dreamed of my fairy-tale wedding, but, as a little girl, I always knew that if I ever had a daughter she would be Ruby. My Ruby's middle name is also very sentimental. She will be named after my Grandma Fawn and myself (my middle name is Fawn.)

We don't know what the future holds. We might have another child after Ruby. We might not. Until then, keep a running list for us of good "R" names for us just in case! Maybe "R" is our lucky letter. What I do know is that we are lucky to have our Rocco and Ruby.

Fireman Rocco

Rocco has found a new interest-- anything involving being a fireman; more specifically, Fireman Sam. Fireman Sam is a British cartoon about, well, a fireman named Sam. We found this cartoon on Netflix a couple of months ago and Rocco has been hooked ever since.

As I mentioned in a previous post, I purchased a fireman costume for Rocco to wear for Halloween. He has been so excited about it that he wears at least part of it on a daily basis. Almost every day, Rocco is sent to the babysitter's house wearing the bright red, plastic fireman helmet and his bright red, rubber Spiderman boots. He even refers to himself as Fireman Sam. For some parents, this might be embarrassing. I'm not embarrassed at all.

In fact, the purpose behind this blog to to reaffirm my beliefs in supporting your child's interests whether you personally believe in them or not. I recently read an article that discusses the necessity of supporting your child's passions during their infant and toddler years. The article stresses that trains and trucks might be the sole interest of your 3 year old, but that will take a backseat to sports when your child enters kindergarten, for example. The author's point is for parents to not push children into one direction, but to support the current interest of the child at the time, for most interests are usually just phases.

I fully agree. I think that kids go through lots of phases throughout their childhood, adolescence, and young adulthood. Shoot, even adults go through phases of interests! It is our role, as parents, to support our kids' interests no matter how silly, how off-base, or how unimportant you might think they are. It saddens me as a teacher and parent to see so many kids affected by parents who try to push them into an interest that, quite frankly, the child wants nothing to do with or doesn't really have any passion for.

I am appreciative that my parents, my extended family, my husband's parents, and my husband's extended family have been supportive of the interests of Rocco. Along with anything involving being a fireman, Rocco is also interested in anything that has wheels and makes noise-- trucks, trains, tractors, airplanes, backhoes, dump trucks, etc. They have noticed Rocco's interest in these things and have consciously supported his passion by making sure to involve themselves as much as possible into his interests, such as buying toys related to the theme, having discussions about his interest, buying clothes with images associated with his interest, etc. I know that although each one of us has our own selfish hopes that Rocco will take up an interest in whatever is our biggest passion (for me, I hope someday we can sit and paint together, for example. Or, for my husband, for my son to play baseball with him.) we put it aside to do what is best for Rocco-- supporting his interests at the time.

It is my biggest hope that I continue to support my son's passions throughout his lifetime, whether it be fire fighting, farming, sports, art, music, computers, speaking Chinese, studying planets... whatever he can dream up! I just want him to be happy and know that I think he is immaculate no matter what (which he is!)

(Fireman Rocco in his hat and boots)

As I close this blog, I want to extend my appreciation for my parents in supporting me throughout my childhood. When I think about all of the "when I grow up I want to be a _____'s" throughout my lifetime, not one went unsupported. An artist, a dancer, a cop, a baby doctor, a waitress, a physical therapist, a nurse, a teacher, a defense lawyer-- all supported dreams of mine throughout my childhood. At one point, I was a collector-- a collector of rusted (and some moldy) bottle caps, postcards, troll dolls, Beanie Babies, and Pogs (to name just a few.) I had an MC Hammer doll in the first grade and his U Can't Touch This single on cassette. A poster of Michael Jackson in a yellow tuxedo hung on my bedroom wall. I took a Milli Vanilli folder to school with me. I wanted to be famous someday and be one of those dancers in the music videos on MTV. Or a Fly-Girl on In Living Color. With the support of my parents, I always felt as if I could do anything I ever wanted. And isn't that what is most important-- to raise a child with the belief that they can accomplish anything they set their minds to? To raise a child knowing that they can make a difference in the world? And to make sure your child is happy?

(The poster was on clearance, by the way.)

So, readers, what kinds of interests did you have that your parents supported to make you the person you are today? Post a comment below.

Ruby and Jaxon

After Todd and I found out that we were expecting Rocco, I immediately started hazing everyone around me to have babies so that my Rocco would have someone to grow up with. Luckily, Rocco has lots of friends his age that he will grow up with, but I especially hazed my brother, Jason, and his wife, Lora.

So when April 2012 rolled around and Todd and I found out that we were expecting our second child (Ruby)-- and still nothing from Jason and Lora-- I gave up.

"They just hate me and never want me to have a niece or nephew!" I whined to anyone who would listen at that point.

I really did just sort of forgot about hazing them. I think that by that point it might have crossed the line into bullying territory. Threatening, perhaps? Todd told me to knock it off. Sigh....

Late one night, not long after announcing our baby news to the family, I was sitting around when my phone went off-- new text message from Lora.

Lora: Am I a good sister in law?

Me: Yes. (In my head thinking, are we fighting or something? What is she talking about? Did I piss her off? What did I do this time? Where is she going with this?)

Lora: Do I do everything you tell me to do?

Me: (utterly confused) Ummmm... yeah. Are you drunk?

Lora then responds with something about her being pregnant-- to be honest, I don't even remember what it said because I was so excited it was all a blur after that.

I immediately called her and prefaced the conversation with "If you are joking with me, I am going to kill you!"

She wasn't! Congratulations and well-wishes all around. They even came over to share their news (they were at my parents' place.)

Even better was finding out that Lora was only 4 weeks behind me, so we would be celebrating being pregnant together AND (even WAY better) Ruby and Jaxon would be growing up together!

(Lora and I at Lora's birthday in July 2012)

It has been fun to be pregnant at the same time as Lora. All of the milestones of the first pregnancy are so thrilling-- everyone finding out, registering for baby gear, seeing ultrasound photos, finding out the sex, picking a name, etc. I am giving her my maternity clothes that are too small from the last pregnancy (the second time around sure is different than the first!) I took her over and got her registered at Babies 'R Us. This being her first time, it is really exciting to watch her belly expand and act like an expert at pregnancy when she asks me questions. It has just been so exciting for everyone. Mostly, I am so happy for Jason and Lora to become parents. It is definitely the best thing that ever happened to me. I know they will be great parents and Jaxon will be super loved. I am also excited the Ruby and Jaxon will be so close in age, just like Jason and I are. It was pretty fun to trick people who didn't know us into thinking we were twins and having a built in BFF around always.

(September 2012-- Rocco's birthday party)

Coming your way in 2013: Ruby and Jaxon. (Ruby's due date is December 27th and Jaxon is expected around January 26th) Watch out, world! There's a new generation of Kacie and Jason coming your way!

(Pumpkin Patch Party-- October 2012)

Fall Frenzy

The fall is a very busy time for our family, but our favorite time of year!

Since Todd and I are both teachers, fall represents the beginning of a new school year. This year, I'm teaching Sophomore English and Art at the high school. My art curriculum is focusing on multicultural arts and crafts, so students are studying various groups of people around the world, their art, and then recreating artworks based on what they've learned. I am starting to feel more comfortable teaching English this year since I was able to work out all the kinks last year-- well, most of the kinks! I also have a terrific group of kids this year-- especially my Advanced class. I am able to not only provide a general over-view of various pieces of literature and writing genres, but also dive more in depth into grammar (one of our students' lowest areas on the state writing assessment.) Todd is at the middle school again teaching health and computers. He has nothing but great things to say about the middle school kids and his colleagues. I think he really enjoys his job! Todd is also assistant coaching again this year. He is the head JV coach, and his JV team is doing pretty well. The varsity team is struggling a bit, but have made lots of progress from last season. Homecoming is this week, which means that we are both swamped. Todd with the coaching aspect and me with the student festivities aspect. I, along with a fellow English teacher at the high school. are in charge of Homecoming Court, the Homecoming assembly, the Homecoming class competitions, the Homecoming week of dressing up, the Homecoming dodge ball tournament, etc. etc. etc. You get the point... Anyway, my partner in crime just had a baby the end of August, so I have been flying solo. Needless to say, I am going to feel 100 pounds lighter (stress-wise) at the end of this week!

Fall is also harvest time-- something that means a busy working time period for my dad and Jason. Rocco loves seeing all of the trucks and tractors moving produce. Stray onions line the roads and the fields are slowly turning from green to brown. Speaking of farming, Rocco just had his second annual Pumpkin Patch Party. Every year my dad grows a mini-field of pumpkins so that Rocco and his friends (and their parents-- our friends) can come out and grab as many pumpkins as they want. This year, we met at Andrea's house for treats, socialized for a bit, and then loaded up into the hay covered trailer that transported us to the patch. After picking the perfect pumpkins, everyone made their way back to the house where they were met with more goodies and chili. It was a great time! Next year, it will be even more fun because Ruby and Jaxon will be here! Here are some photos of our party:

Rocco is such a big boy now. He is talking up a storm! We are excited that we are finally able to have complete conversations with him and that he is using full sentences. He understands everything we say to him, which is wonderful. Now, if he would just oblige to everything we ask him to do- HA! He still loves anything with wheels that makes noise. But he is now very into Fireman Sam-- a British cartoon. I got him a fireman costume (originally intended or Halloween) that he wears all the time-- particularly the hat. He also refers to himself as Fireman Sam sometimes. Funny kid! His babysitter will take him around town to run errands sometimes and Rocco will wear his fireman hat, of course, so people around town also refer to him as Fireman Sam. Here's hoping it's just a phase! He is excited about "his baby" coming in December. Sometimes he will randomly kiss my belly, give Ruby a drink of his sippy through my belly button, and share his tractors with her (running them over my belly.) Today, I caught him whisper-singing about the baby. Very cute. Speaking of Ruby, she is growing! I feel pretty good and can't complain too much. Sleeping has become more difficult because of my size and leg cramps. We are slowly getting prepped to have a newborn in the house again. I have all of her clothes washed, organized, and ready for her; the car seat is ready with bases installed in the vehicles; bottles are washed; toys have been transferred from Rocco's room to Ruby's room. I don't know if I am nesting or just being prepared, because I know how much work it is the second time around. Regardless, we are very excited for her arrival. I will make sure to post photos of the 3D ultrasound-- November 1st.

Halloween is coming up soon. We hope Rocco is ready to go trick or treating this year. Thanksgiving is right around the corner, too. We have invited Todd's parents down to spend the holiday with us. Hopefully, they will be able to make it down and celebrate with us. We have never had the honor of celebrating a holiday with them at our house-- the old house or the new house-- so we are hopeful they can make it down.

I hope you all are enjoying your fall as much as we are!