Christmas 2012 Recap

Okay, okay... I can't believe I'm actually admitting it, but I am looking forward to Christmas next year! Why? Not because my husband converted me to a Christmas lover with all of his cheesy Christmas-themed movies, the carols blasting from the bathroom and car stereo, or the decorations adorning our home. No, not because of those things... Because Christmas was fun again thanks to Rocco!

Before I recap Christmas morning at our house with Rocco, let me start with the beginning of the festivities: the Clark/Recla Christmas Extravaganza the Sunday before Christmas at our house. In attendance were: Todd, Kacie, Rocco, Ruby, Mike, Kim, Jason, Lora, Grandma Mary, Uncle Gilbert, Aunt Andrea, Uncle Pat, Josh, Mikaela, Uncle Dean, Papa Gary, Lori, Marcy, and Grandma Fawn. So, there were 19 of us total! Everyone was asked to bring an appetizer or dessert to share with others, and, of course, we had more than enough food and sent people home with left-overs. It was a delicious spread! Usually, we have a large sit-down traditional dinner with turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, etc. This year, though, we wanted something more laid-back and low-key. While we noshed on our yummy food, we began the white elephant exchange. Everyone brings a gift-- either something they picked up for a steal throughout the year or a re-gift-- and we each draw numbers. Each person has the opportunity to either choose a wrapped gift or steal from someone else. After a gift has touched three different sets of hands, it is taken out of the game. It gets pretty cut-throat! But it is one of the most anticipated "events" of the year with our family. We then opened gifts from everyone. As expected, everyone was spoiled again this year. I think I speak for everyone who was able to attend that it was a great celebration with the whole family and that the more laid-back, low-key aspect was much appreciated.

That evening, we had a special visit from "Santa" and his "helpers" (Rick Dentinger aka Santa, helpers: Mike and Matt Dentinger and Rory Churchill.) Santa came BOOMING into the house-- "HO HO HO!"-- and scared Rocco to the point where Rocco was shaking. He was totally freaked out. We could not get him on Santa's lap. But, he did finally come around enough to give Santa a hug, high fives, and fist bumps before he left! Santa and his helpers were a lot of fun and we were glad they stopped by.

The following day, Christmas Eve day, our little family did a lot of relaxing. Our original plans had fallen through, so we had a lot of time to clean up from the day before, put away gifts, and watch Rocco play with some of his new toys. Oh, and soak up time with Miss Ruby, too! That evening, we went out to Grandma Mary's house. Uncle Gil made a spread that could rival with any fine dining restaurant. The man is amazing in the kitchen! He made probably the best clam chowder I have ever eaten, as well as a couple quiches, a pear/walnut salad, and more. We would get so fat if Gil were around cooking for us all the time! True to tradition, Grandma had a lottery ticket at each place setting. We ate, we watched gifts being opened, and we watched Rocco beat up Mikaela. They act like brother and sister! Later that night, after we got home, we put Rocco to bed so we could prepare for the following morning...

Being Santa is a little stressful! There's a lot of pressure for perfection-- especially with the first conscious visit from Santa for a kid! Anyway, we were well-prepared-- gifts had been wrapped and just needed to be put under the tree or in the stocking and the larger items (a firetruck Rocco can drive himself and a 4-story fire station) were assembled, so they just needed to be set up in front of the tree. The one thing we prepared for that didn't happen was leaving milk and cookies for Santa from Rocco-- he was too tired after getting home, so we just put him to bed. Next year, though, we will get it done! It didn't take as long as we thought. Before we knew it, we were attempting sleep (Ruby had a really rough night that night, so we really didn't sleep at all!) My parents snuck over to the house that night, too, so that they would be here first thing in the morning to see Rocco's face as he saw all the presents for him under the tree.

Todd, Ruby, and I were up early to catch Rocco's reaction. Todd grabbed the video camera, and I sat with Ruby. Rocco came around the corner very sleepy and meandered through the living room-- oblivious to the presents-- and crawled up on my lap. I kept saying, "Rocco! Look at all of those presents Santa left you!" It took him awhile to fully wake up and realize that there was a fire station and fire truck for him. But when he did-- oh, the look was priceless! His eyes lit up, he smiled, and he RAN to the fire station. He played with it for almost 3 hours straight! It was difficult to even get him to open up his other presents! He is definitely one lucky little boy. He played with his new toys for most of the morning while we watched. My dad made us a great breakfast. And we made sure to capture a lot of it on video and through photos. That afternoon, we opened our gifts from Todd's family and called to talk with them for a bit. Then, we relaxed some more!

All in all, with the exception of some plans falling through and some family not being able to make it down, this Christmas was perfect! We are so loved by family and spoiled by them. Most importantly, for me, was feeling the magic of Christmas all over again through the eyes of my child. I can't wait to add more traditions as Rocco and Ruby get older-- I have so many in mind that they won't be able to fully appreciate until they're a little older, but are going to be so much fun! I hope that those of you reading this also had a wonderful Christmas and are planning a fun, safe NYE celebration!!!

Life with Ruby and Rocco

Well, the past two weeks have flown by and have been quite a change for our family. Here's a recap of how things have been in the Shaffer household with a toddler and a newborn (and a busy dad and recovering mama.)

Ruby
This little girl has been very sweet (for the most part) and very docile. She sleeps most of the day and only has a couple fussy periods. We took her in for her first check-up and everything looked great. The doctor said she is healthy and perfect, but was a little concerned about her weight. He ordered a weight check for two days later. So, we took her in, and she had lost 22 grams. Apparently, that is somewhat of a concern. Since Ruby had a full belly at the initial visit, the doctor ordered me to feed her on the spot and re-weigh her. She gained 2 ounces in a matter of minutes. So... no issues for the time being. I have been conscious to wake Ruby up every 2 hours to feed her, because I am not wanting another doctor appointment where Ruby's weight is a concern. I'm ready for a chunky baby! Her cheeks and chin are starting to fill out, but her arms and legs are like tooth picks. Regardless, she is a doll and truly stunning. Her big accomplishments in the past two weeks have been surviving two baths and her belly button stump falling off.

Rocco
Big Brother is still infatuated with Little Sister-- lots of kisses, gentle (we're working on it) hugs, and definitely giving his protection. There have been a couple instances where people have stopped by to either hold or merely look at Ruby and Rocco says very sternly, "That's MY sister! You don't touch her..." Now, if only we can bottle that up and save it for when they are in high school...
The combination of bed rest, recovering from a c-section, and having a newborn attached to me almost constantly has proven to be a big adjustment to the relationship Rocco and I have. He is a little mad at me, I think. But we are working on it. I finally started feeling-- human?-- so I am making it a point to hand Ruby off to her daddy while Rocco and I have some time to ourselves. So far, it's working, and he is being much sweeter to his mama. He requested that he and I take a shower together tonight, which I happily obliged in as showers, unfortunately for everyone involved, are few and far between for me lately...
Rocco's big focus was Santa and Christmas before Ruby came into the world. Now, he is excited, but a little distracted by his sister. He is also very busy being a fireman-- yes, he is still deep in that phase. He will surely be elated when Christmas morning comes around and under the tree is a real firetruck he can drive himself and a 3-story fire house (along with other gifts.)

Todd
Getting up lots in the middle of the night, running after Rocco, and fighting off a winter cold is wearing Todd down just a little, but not much. I think neither one of us quite remembered just how hard a newborn is for the first few weeks.
True to form, Todd is definitely ready for everything Christmas. If he has the choice, we are watching some kind of Christmas movie. I catch him listening to carols in the shower on the radio in the bathroom. And he is trying to convert me with gusto.

Kacie
Last, but certainly not least-- or, should I say, saving the best for last? Here's the scoop on me: like I mentioned earlier, I am finally feeling human. Fresh from the shower really helps with that one. I should probably average more than one a week-- that's a joke. (Kind of.) I was incredibly sore and uncomfortable from the surgery for the first week-- literally an entire week. I was expecting 3 days. Not the case. As soon as I started feeling good, I discovered that I am allergic to the particular glue used to adhere the steri-strips over my incision. I was itching like crazy one night with no relief, so I called the nurse and asked what was up. She told me to immediately get the strips off and clean the area with hydrogen peroxide. The area then got inflamed and blistered. Yes, this is all in "that area" and surrounding the incision. Not glamorous. I also had some pain in my abdomen area, so decided it was best to just go in and get a professional opinion. My doctor told me to take Benadryl for the reaction and gave me some anti-biotics for a suspected infected uterus (I had the same thing with Rocco.) Making a LONG story SHORT: This recovery has been ca-ca.

Now, on to better things: being a mother of two. Although I forgot just how difficult it is to be the mother of a newborn with 2-3 hour intervals of sleep between breast feedings, I am totally soaking up my time with Ruby. As the second child, she reaps the benefit of my knowing just how quickly the newborn stage goes. And, since she will be our last child, I am selfishly hoarding her. My mom says, "You don't give her up very easily..." In fact, I think I can count on one hand the number of people that have actually held her. That kind of paints the picture for you, egh? Having a high-energy 2 year old this time around puts a whole new spin on things-- a lot of sensory overload on my part. But, to be honest, things are actually feeling fairly sane and relaxed in my household. I know that Ruby will be able to sleep through anything, though, as her brother has a tendency to "scare" his sister by growling at her like a dinosaur, playing his drums as she sleeps, and wrestles his dad like Nacho Libre.

Other Family Updates
This Sunday Todd and I will be hosting a Clark/Recla Christmas Celebration where all of the family is invited. It will be more low-key this year, as I didn't want to deal with hosting a full seated dinner, so we decided on everyone bringing an appetizer or dessert to share. We will exchange gifts, as well as participate in the cut-throat white elephant gift exchange. It's always a fun time with the people I love the most! We were hoping that Todd's family would be able to make it down, but his sister and her husband decided to spend the holidays in Todd's hometown with their parents. They have yet to meet Ruby, so we are anxious to get them down here.

Mom is enjoying retirement. She has been quilting up a storm! We love that she is retired, too, as she is a great babysitter and Rocco absolutely adores her-- and his Papa Mike. She has been spending lots of time with Grandma Fawn, too. She is there every Friday night-- they watch lots of movies together and weed out the stupid ones so no one else has to endure them.

Jason and Lora are expecting baby Jaxon the end of January. It's been fun helping them get prepared for their little bundle of joy. I can't wait to meet him and watch the cousins grow up together. I think Ruby and Jaxon will get bossed around big time by Rocco!

We have lots of things to be thankful for this time of year and for years to come. We hope that you and your family also have a wonderful holiday and a prosperous new year. Celebrate the things in life that make you happiest.

Ruby's Birth Story

A few days after Rocco was born, I sat down (along with Todd and my mom) to write Rocco's birth story. I put it in his scrapbook and have often referred back to it. So, having some time on my hands in the hospital and not being able to be super active, I thought it was the perfect time to write Ruby's birth story.

On Saturday, December 8, 2012, I woke up early and thought, "I need to take Rocco to see Santa today." So, Todd, Rocco, and I loaded up into the car, drove to Boise Towne Square, and waited in line to see Santa. Rocco was so excited and in awe. It was definitely one of my highlights as a parent to see the magic in his eyes. I was breaking the rules of bed rest by taking him, but I knew it would be worth it-- and it was.

We got home, relaxed, and eventually ate some dinner. During dinner I noticed that I was experiencing some contractions with pain. I had experienced this in the past, so I didn't think much of it. I ate like a hog and made sure to drink lots of water (to eliminate contractions due to dehydration.) Dinner was around 5:15 pm. After dinner, I went to sit on the recliner and relax. The contractions didn't stop. I then decided it was time to get in the bath to see if contractions would cease. At that point, I had called my mom to warn her that I might be going in to the hospital to get checked-- but I'd call her after the bath. Still, at this point, I thought my body was just "doing it's thing" and labor was still far from coming. After sitting in the bath for an hour and a half, I decided that maybe I should get a second opinion. This was around 8:15 pm.

I texted one of my nurse friends who works in the labor and delivery unit of the hospital.

"Are you working tonight by any chance?"

"No. Why?"

After explaining my evening to her, she wrote back, "Go in. Is she still breech? Go in." I got out of the bath, calmly told Todd that we needed to go in, and started getting dressed. I called my mom and told her to come on over. Still, I wasn't panicked or even feeling any kind of urgency. Todd, on the other hand, seemed a bit jittery and nervous. He probably won't admit it, but I know him all too well.

Todd says, "I was really confident that Ruby was coming, because Kacie knows her body so well. I knew I needed to make sure I got the car seat, the bags, and make sure Rocco was set. I had to try to be as calm as possible for Kacie."

Mom and Dad showed up quickly. Rocco was super excited to see them, which made leaving him that late at night easier on me. There were lots of hugs and kisses, then Todd and I loaded up into car, and proceeded to St. Al's in Ontario.

"Stay calm. Be really safe. I knew Kacie would be stressed enough as is. I was really excited," Todd recalls of his thoughts on the drive over. We talked a lot-- about random stuff to ease nerves and about the possibility of having a baby that night. I was still pretty calm considering the circumstances.

We got into labor and delivery around 9 pm where we were met by an incredibly sweet nurse, Juanita. She had me get into an extremely glamorous gown, lay on the bed, and strapped two monitors to my belly (one to check contractions and one to check the baby's heartbeat.) She didn't monitor me for long-- as I was having regular contractions ever 2-3 minutes apart. She decided to check me and said, "Oh, you're at a good 3." I was shocked. Here I was laughing, joking, and relatively pain-free. I had no idea I was in "real" labor. (A far cry from my first experience-- I was literally begging for an epidural at a 5!) While checking me, the nurse was almost certain Ruby had flipped and was head down. I kept trying to explain to her that Dr. Duncan also made the same mistake and that I could still feel her head right under my ribs. She had another nurse come in-- Linda-- who also checked and was mystified. They broke out the ultrasound machine and determined, that, in fact, the mother was right all along-- Ruby was still most definitely breech.

"So... if I'm having contractions and am dilated to a 3, does that mean I'm having a baby tonight?" I asked.

"You're having a baby tonight!" Nurse Juanita replied.

We notified very few people-- I think just my parents and Todd's parents. Then, we got ready... Having a C-section is much more of a process than I thought. First, there's the paper work. Then, there's the IV and prep work. There's also the rounding up of the "troops"-- I had no idea it took so many people! There was a regular labor and delivery nurse, an operating room nurse, the anesthesiologist, Dr. Duncan-- my OB/GYN, a nurse who handled all of the "tools" for the job, and the pediatrician. The nurses got us ready in our special outfits (see photo below) and had the anesthesiologist come in to talk to us about the procedure. His name was Mike and he was maybe one of the sweetest men I have ever met. I was so nervous and scared, but he made me feel so much better. The hardest part was being wheeled back to the operating room without Todd-- being so scared and nervous and excited and anxious.

In the operating room, all of the "troops" met up. It was like a party! The operating room nurse and Mike introduced me to the nurse who handles all of the "tools" and I said something really stupid like, "I'm really scared and nervous and sometimes I make really stupid jokes when I'm terrified, so I apologize in advance for anything that comes out of my mouth." They laughed. I then got my spinal. The whole time, someone was walking me through what was happening-- it was great. And thanks to many of my mama friends who have had c-sections sharing their stories with me, I already knew what was happening! The spinal did not hurt at all. It was relatively easy, actually. I was then laid out on the bed and Mike had me stretch my arms out to the sides-- like I was being crucified. They put the sheet up over my face and everyone started their responsibilities. Mike was monitoring my pain the whole time and at one point sensed something was wrong. He asked, "Everything okay?" I said, "I am so nauseous  but I don't know if it is from nerves or the anesthesia." He looked at me, smiled, and said, "I've got something for that..." Oh my gosh... away went the nerves and jitters. Todd came in around that time and was shocked to find a completely mellow wife. He asked Mike if he could have some of whatever magic medicine he gave me for home.

Todd and I talked the whole time-- about what we thought Ruby would look like and about Rocco. I couldn't see anything so I had no idea what was going on. I was nervous about the smell of my skin being cauterized, but that was not an issue. I was also nervous about any noises I might hear-- again, not an issue for me. I knew exactly when Ruby was out of me, though-- because I could feel them lift her out of me. It's an odd experience-- there is no pain, but you can feel pressure/relief. She was born at 11:43 pm on December 8, 2012. It was not too much longer before we heard one of the most reassuring, beautiful, amazing things in the world: Ruby crying.

Now, I am not the sentimental type. I didn't cry when Rocco was born. But, man, did I cry this time. For so long, I had been so worried about Ruby's health, especially her lung development. So, it was such a relief for me, so I think the tears were joyous.

Todd could see Ruby at this point, but I couldn't. I asked several times if she looked alright and if they were suctioning her and if she was okay-- Todd was at ease, so I knew everything must have been okay. And Ruby was roaring the entire time-- she has a great set of lungs on her! Todd said, "She has lots of blonde hair!" Everyone congratulated us, which was so sweet. And as soon as the pediatrician laid Ruby down in the warmer/bed, Mike moved the sheet a little so I could have a look at my girl. I could only see the crown of her head and an ear-- and was shocked at the tuff of platinum blonde hair all around Ruby's head.

It didn't seem like too long before they had Ruby bundled and able to introduce her to me. I kissed her and admired her and talked to her. She was beautiful. Stunningly beautiful. And, yes, it's true, c-section babies are much more attractive than vaginal birth babies because they don't go through all the stress. Ruby was then whisked away to the nursery with Todd following close behind.

I was then sewed up. There are three layers that need to be sewn-- the uterus, the muscle, and the skin. Dr. Duncan was talking about something really random the whole time. I can't remember it now (I was on morphine, so there are many blanks throughout the first couple days!) I think it took about 30 minutes. I was just so anxious to hold Ruby and really check her out, so it felt like an eternity. I even got bored at one point! Finally, I was wheeled into the recovery room where I was met by another nurse who knew my family and Todd had taught some of her kids. I was really out of it at this time, so I can't remember anything except for when Todd and Ruby came back to greet me. Then, it was all about Ruby-- everything else fades away. I finally got to hold, kiss, and snuggle my girl. Still in shock from all of her white hair, I couldn't help but keep pulling the beanie away for a glimpse every few seconds. She was perfect.

Throughout the next few days there were lots of visitors: my parents, Jason and Lora, Aunt Andrea and Grandma Mary, Mikaela, friends, and more. But there were two visitors who were extra special. The first one was Rocco. We were nervous about how he would react to a baby sister, so it was super important that he was one of the first to meet her. He came in with flowers and a huge smile proclaiming, "My sister!" I couldn't stop him from crawling up onto the bed with me. He then proceeded to maul her with kisses. He was absolutely head over heels in love. Totally infatuated. It was so sweet and such a relief. And, according to my mom, a testament to how loved Rocco is because he was mimicking what he has experienced as a child. It was a wonderful experience as a mom to have my two babies finally meet and to see such a bond between them already.

The other special visitor was Grandma Fawn who came all the way to the hospital (with the help of Uncle Dean and Aunt Marcy). I was shocked and happy to see her. It was another memory that will forever be in my heart.

There was also a lot of pain and recovery over the next few days in the hospital. I was extremely sore and uncomfortable-- more than I imagined. It was a task to pee, move in bed, put on socks, hold Ruby-- everything. I felt so helpless. Eventually, I was able to walk around a bit and feel more like a human being. I took a shower, which made me feel like a million bucks! We felt confident enough to go home the Tuesday following Ruby's arrival.

It is amazing how different the second child is from the first. In my case, it was a completely new experience. Since we have been home, I have been so much more relaxed with her and have gotten much more sleep than I did when Rocco was born. She is a sweet baby and so good. She sleeps for 2-3 hours at a time, nurses like a champ, and rarely cries. She is little, but strong. And she is very alert when she is awake-- always studying things around her with her big eyes.

I never knew I could be this happy and have this much love in my heart for another child. But she totally has me wrapped around her little finger.

The Nesting Instinct

"I'm going to Wal-Mart," I whispered to Todd, who was a second ago sound asleep. Most people are at 4 in the morning. "What time is it?" he asked. I explained that I had been up for a good hour and decided that although it was 4 am, it was the best time to drive the 20 minutes to the nearest Wal-Mart and pick out the perfect lamp for Rocco's nursery. "Can't you wait until I get up?" Todd asked, totally confused and a little concerned. "No," I said, "I have to go RIGHT NOW."

Two days later... Rocco was born.

The "Nesting Instinct" kicked in months ago with Ruby. I had no idea then why I decided it was the perfect time to sterilize all the bottles and nipples, wash and organize all of her clothes, and make sure there was a clean sheet on her crib mattress-- I was only around 7 months pregnant. I now know that my nesting began so early because I started to go into labor at 31 weeks. Makes sense in hind-sight.

I recently did more reading and research on this phenomenon and learned that it is as natural as motherhood itself. All female animals in the animal kingdom do some sort of nesting either right before they have their offspring or right after they have their offspring. It is primal instinct. Birds have a tendency to do what is called "going broody" in which their nesting instinct is to remain in the nest they have built as much as possible before they lay their eggs. I'd have to say that being put on mandatory bed rest has definitely made me "go broody." Poor mama birds... I do have to say that while "going broody" I have felt an urge to crochet beanies like a mad-woman. Hey, at least Ruby's head will be warm.

One website writes, "Nesting brings about some unique and seemingly irrational behaviors in pregnant women and all of them experience it differently." Most women who nest seem to have one goal in mind-- preparing their surroundings for their newborn to be brought home. Usually it consists of cleaning, sterilizing, and organizing. But, did you know that fathers-to-be can also have their own nesting instinct?

It's true. Some fathers-to-be become preoccupied with their own version of getting ready for baby. One website had several men discussing their incessant need to find the perfect family vehicle-- something safe, reliable, and large enough for their brood. Other men went on a remodeling spree where they tore down walls, painted, installed new flooring, etc. Still, some men take a more "motherly" approach and do some cleaning and organizing. I have found that with this pregnancy, Todd has exhibited some nesting signs of his own. This morning, for example, he decided to pack his over-night bag, vacuum, sweep, scrub the baseboards, and take Rocco for a hair cut. He also made sure that we put up the Christmas decorations claiming that he didn't know how many more weekends we would have to do it before Ruby came (this is questionable behavior, because Christmas is Todd's most favorite holiday and he wants to decorate as early as possible every year-- not just when his wife is 9 months pregnant!)

So, Mothers (and Mothers-to-be): What is your nesting story? I have a friend who described how she had the urge to scrub the inside of the dog kennel before her baby's arrival. At the time, it seemed absolutely necessary. In hindsight, she laughed and said something to the effect of, "...Like my baby was going to be in the dog kennel!" (J: if you're reading this, I hope you don't mind that I anonymously used your story!!!)

Whether it's scrubbing a dog kennel or making a trip to Wal-Mart at 4 am for a lamp or just sitting around crocheting beanies like there's going to be a yarn apocalypse  mothers really do have their own unique (and slightly neurotic) way or preparing for baby. I certainly know that Ruby is on her way sooner than later (can you believe that if she stays in me until the 17th it's only 2 weeks!!!) And I know that my husband is exhibiting some odd behaviors of his own lately. Even Rocco is more snuggley and needy today than he has been. I wonder if everyone but me knows that labor is impending and nature is trying to tell us something. We shall see :)