Our Kids Come First

My children are horrible travelers until they are about a year old. They hate their infant seats-- and Rocco hated being turned backwards. It is what it is. There's not a lot I can do about it. It makes my life incredibly difficult-- in a number of ways...

First, I'd like to point out the things I have tried in attempts to help make my children better travelers:
 -Making them warmer
-Making them cooler
-Mirrors to see themselves and me
-Toys-- dangling from the straps (illegal, by the way) and loose to manipulate with hands
-Food and drink
-Medication (Tylenol/Advil)
-Singing, music, talking or silence
-Bumpy roads/flat roads
-Binkies
-Windows blocked, windows open
-Padding/no padding

I have asked my pediatrician about what to do. I have read countless articles online seeking solutions. I have asked for advice online on forums. Believe me when I say that I have tried almost everything.

The one thing I refuse to try is the Cry-It-Out Method, which is generally reserved for sleep training, but is essentially the same idea for getting a child to travel extended lengths of time while crying incessantly  For some people, this is the choice they make as parents. I am a huge believer in parents doing what is best for them and their children.

However, I am not in favor for the CIO Method. The following articles describe my reasons:

http://drbenkim.com/articles-attachment-parenting.html

http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/fussy-baby/science-says-excessive-crying-could-be-harmful

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/moral-landscapes/201112/dangers-crying-it-out

http://www.phdinparenting.com/blog/2008/7/5/cry-it-out-cio-10-reasons-why-it-is-not-for-us.html

Some people think that I am choosing not to travel with my children. This is simply not the case. I would love-- LOVE-- for Ruby to decide that traveling was her most favorite thing ever! Sadly, though, this is not the case at this time.

These people do not understand that there are so many times that I would love to be able to pack up my child and head out the door for some kind of an adventure-- shopping, lunch, dinner, etc. Hell, I would love to be able to go to the grocery store and get some basic food items for my family without facing a major meltdown from my child-- and the grocery store is literally 5 minutes away from the house. These people often forget that I have basically been on "house arrest" since November 1st trying to put my child's safety, health, well-being, happiness, and comfort first. It is not fun to be bored at home all day. It is not glamorous to spend all day in sweats. It is not fun to plan out when you can "escape" between nursing in order to run a necessary errand or attend an appointment.

I would love to be able to travel for leisure and pleasure. It would be nice to see my husband's family more often. It would be awesome to not turn down my mother's offer to take us to the coast over spring break (my favorite place) to vacation and spread some of Gramma's ashes... Or on a cruise to Alaska in June to spread my Gramma Fawn's ashes. It would be great to just hop on a plane or in the car and see my Uncle Gilbert in Seattle. I would love to visit my best friend, Katie, in La Grande. Or Beth in Reno. Or the Lantis Family or the Barnett's... who live further than the front yard.

Some people think that my husband and I are choosing not to travel with our children because we are "avoiding his family"... That's clearly not the case, seeing as we have turned down multiple vacations with my family, as well as seeing family members who do not live nearby. We have not gone to visit our friends, whom we adore and think of as family, because it requires a lengthy car ride or plane ride. It's awfully sad that some people think so lowly of us and do not realize that we are merely putting our children's happiness, comfort, and well-being above everything (including our own selfish desires.)

It boggles my mind that some people would try to paint us as bad people for doing what we feel is the absolute best for our kids-- to be happy and comfortable. I would think that instead of being mean, disrespectful, and downright rude to us, you would commend us for being selfless parents.

It might piss some people off-- it might piss you off-- that they are unable to see us or our children whenever they would like or as much as they would like, but the fact of the matter is that we don't care if it pisses people off-- we don't care if it pisses you off-- we care about our kids first and foremost-- above anyone else, including ourselves.

Nothing will change that.